04/11/07 Coon Alert: Blacks for Imus Confuse the Issue

When white people accidentally say nigger or call a group of women nappy-headed hoes, they don’t need to defend themselves. All they gotta do is wait for the coons and closet racists to come to their aid, which, in most cases, isn’t that long of a wait. In these scenarios, one of the most common defense tactics is to blame white racism on, ironically, black people.

It’s like this: say, for instance, some washed-up white comedian is being unnecessarily heckled by two black men in the audience. Say, then, he loses his temper and starts repeating “nigger” uncontrollably, consequently making a fool of himself. What would happen next is, a gang of white “pundits” and bootlicking blacks would say: “Yeah, what he did was fucked up; but black people say the n-word all the time and they shouldn’t use it, either.”

That’s what happened in Brazoria, Texas when Mayor Corley—inspired by Jesse Jackson’s call for a ban on the n-word after the Mike Richards debacle—proposed fining anyone caught saying nigga as much as $500. Fuck Corley and Jackson, though.

A similar resolution passed in the New York City Council, though it doesn’t call for the millions of people who say nigga to be fined.

This whole exercise by some black people to absolve whites of their racism is childish. Like when the spokesman for the Congress of Racial Equality, Niger Innis, tried to deflect the spotlight off Don Imus and onto rap music after the Rutgers incident. "The hypocrisy of these media empires that are full partners in the grossest industry, the hip-hop industry, that pumps out the most vicious stereotypes of African-Americans, the hypocrisy is just gross," is what he said.

Fuck these crackas and fuck these bootlicking, opportunistic coons that defend them. Anyone looking at white racism as the product of misogyny in rap or cultural norms that bar whites from saying nigga is wearing glasses with shit-smeared lenses.

03/14/07 Coon Alert: Obama Don't Get a Free Pass

It ain’t about Barack Obama not bein’ black enough. The issue is whether or not the junior Illinois Senator represents the interests of everyday black Americans. And so far, the case could be made that he does not. At least not as much as he should if he wants the black votes needed for an Obama victory in ‘08.

A long time ago, back when folks called it the Conscience of Congress, the Congressional Black Caucus usedta say African Americans had “no permanent friends, no permanent enemies—just permanent interests.” And nearly 40 years after the formation of the caucus, for better or worse, those interests remain.

So fuck his skin tone because, truth be told, he’s darker than a good number of African Americans. Fuck if he chooses to speak “ebonics” or Shakespearean, too. And the recent example of Bill Clinton's presidency shows that an elected official needn’t be racially profiled or forced to drink from a colored water fountain in order to appreciate and relate to the black experience. None of that shit’s relevant.

Of relevance is the fact that in 2005 and 2006 Barack Obama was graded a C by the CBC Monitor, the first group to ever critique the individual performances of black members of Congress by measuring how consistently they voted in the interests of black Americans on key pieces of legislation. Of relevance is the sad and unfortunate reality that there are white lawmakers—Dennis Kucinich, for example—who, when graded by the same criteria, uphold and promote black interests more than Obama and many CBC members have in the past decade.

That’s not a good look. And the niggas with the balls to question the Senator’s remarkably unremarkable record on race are dismissed as haters.

The cold shit truth of the matter is that a black president is long overdue. But if he ain’t representin’ to the extent that black people need him to represent, why should he deserve the black vote? Make that nigga work.

Props on the accomplishments, though!

02/28/07 Coon Alert: Fuck Hampton University Administrators

When it comes to validating discrimination and repression through policy, Hampton’s administrators are building a formidable track record.

Not more than a year after the HBCU’s School of Business enacted policy prohibiting its students from styling their hair in locks and cornrows, administrators are now telling gays (and straight people for gay rights) that they can’t organize; that they can’t even petition the university for the right to organize until 2008. The Office of Student Activities has denied the Students Promoting Equality Action & Knowledge (SPEAK) governance status, citing an archaic moratorium on the formation of student groups. Basically, the school's code says that a new student group can form if and only if an old one falls off.

But this is nothing new.

In 2003, the university lost a $55,000 grant when its former president, JoAnn Haysbert, gave the go-ahead to confiscate 6,500 school newspapers after learning that her letter defending the school cafeteria’s sanitary conditions wasn’t printed on the front page. She was within her rights, some argued, because the Hampton Script was owned by the university, not the students. Still, the papers were suppressed and destroyed all because of a slight to Ms. Haysbert's ego.

In 2005, when criticized for vigorously pursuing the expulsion of seven non-violent students protesting the Iraq war, Bennie McMorris, vice president for student affairs, defended the university’s actions by citing the Hampton University Official Student Handbook, which mandates that all protests be approved beforehand by Campus Police.

That Hampton University—a school ran by black people, for black people—has become less conducive for black students to freely express their political opinions, sexuality, and even hairstyles than some white schools is starting to reflect in its enrollment rates. Between September 2004 and September 2005, aggregate enrollment fell from 6,154 to 5,740. Perhaps if Hampton’s administrators were to openly advertise the university as the repressive breeding ground for black conservatism that it is slowly becoming, students would either demand change or patronize other universities en masse.

In its mission statement, Hampton University boasts of being “committed to multiculturalism.” Its website bills the school as “a dynamic, progressive institution of higher education… a place that will… broaden your outlook and expand your opportunities” and goes on to claim that the “university’s sights… are set squarely on the horizons of the global community of the 21st century.” But that’s bullshit. Increasingly, Hampton’s policies and practices are in direct opposition to the mission of HBCUs as it pertains to nurturing an academic climate that is sensitive to the cultural nuances of African Americans.

If anyone else feels the same way, call and tell them.

Office of the President, (757) 727-5231
VP for Student Affairs, (757) 727-5264

02/15/07 Coon Alert: Fuck Tim Hardaway

Tim Hardaway is not a dumb dude. He made millions and still married black, so that’s wassup. And, in spite of his crassness, Hardaway has avoided controversy for most of his career as a ball player and sports analyst. But that shit he said after John Amaechi came out is the dumbest coon shit said in 2007 so far.

This nigga said: “Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. It shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States, I don’t like it.”

There’s a myth that blacks hate gays. But black homophobia is not hatred toward gays. It’s fear and resistance that comes mainly from a Christian ethos. The majority of black people today don’t actively persecute gays in the same way they were once persecuted by whites. (Otherwise, why not call white supremacists negrophobes instead of racists?)

Timmy’s comments go beyond the fear and resistance that characterizes black homophobia by implicitly calling for violence against gays. “It shouldn’t be in the world,” though? That’s some extremist, evangelical, Pat Robertson shit. Dead ass! And for a community already said to be inherently incompatible with homosexuality, Timmy’s justa token re-enforcing the violent myths and stereotypes surrounding black people.

And fuck his bullshit ass apology, too.

02/01/07 Coon Alert: Condi Not Coonin'

Condoleeza Rice ain't no coon. Bill O'Reilly was interviewing her and asked how she felt when people accused her of being a sellout. She said: "The fact of the matter… is that I've been black all my life. Nobody needs to tell me how to be black." Brushin' off her shoulders and shit. Because she figured, 'Fuck y'all! I'm the first woman and first African American Provost at Stanford; first African American female National Security Advisor and Secretary of State; Forbes' 2004 and 2005 most powerful woman in the world—I'm good!' She broke barriers, opened doors. She a lotta things, but she ain’t no coon.

She hit up Ferragamo while poor folks (white and black) in New Orleans went for a swim—or at least that’s what she musta thought they was doin’. That wasn’t a good look. But that don’t make her a coon; that just make her materialistic than a muthafucka and inconsiderate of anybody who ain’t somebody.

She tried to compare the struggle for freedom in Birmingham in 1963 to the gunclappin’ in Baghdad 40 years later. Yeah, she shitted on the Civil Rights Movement and, yeah, she put a bullshit ass war over black people’s struggle for equality. But that don’t mean she coonin’. She might be a connivin’ ass politician, maybe; but she not a coon.

She was on O’Reilly talkin’ ‘bout, “I know how much [President Bush] cares about equality in America. I know how much he cares that minority kids get a fair shake in the educational system… [President Bush] has not only cared about minority empowerment, not only cared about equal opportunity for minorities, but he’s done more than any other person I can think of in recent memory.” Being Republican don’t make her a coon.

But if party affiliation alone don’t make a person a coon, what is Condoleeza Rice if you go just offa what she’s done for black people? What are the black Republicans who support and push for policies that hurt poor and middle-class blacks? Ward Connerly was born in Leesville, Louisiana in 1939 and experienced racism firsthand; but, at the same time, he’s single-handedly credited as the man behind ending affirmative action in California, Michigan, and Washington. And this is a black dude. No bullshit!

And it’s not just black Republicans, neither. One of America’s most talented lawyers, ironically, is Theodore V. Wells, Jr., who’s made a career outta defending white collar criminals. He has his NAACP and United Negro College Fund stripes, though, and he’s a Democrat. (Big ups on that!) Wells is currently serving on Scooter Libby’s defense team.

So Ms. Rice ain’t no coon or Uncle Tom or sellout or traitor. At the end of the day, she still got black skin and can’t nobody take that from her. Nah, she justa colorblind, naïve, vain Republican who hasn’t done much of anything to help average, everyday black folks.

Props on the accomplishments, though. That's wassup!

01/17/07 Coon Alert: How Conscious Is Conscious Rap?

Hip hop purists take note: Kanye West guest stars in The Game’s “Wouldn’t Get Far" music video, which will be premiering soon. Over a Creative Source “I’d Find You Anywhere" sample, Game and Kanye take aim at some of the video industry’s top models, alleging that promiscuity has fuelled the careers of Melyssa Ford, Vida Guerra, and the like.

Kanye West on the set of the "Wouldn't Get Far" video shoot.

The chorus goes: “You wouldn’t get far, fucking them rap stars/You know who you are, put your hands up, ladies/If you kept your legs closed (it would be just a waste of time)/But you know…"

Forget about The Game. He is a skilled rapper, sure, but it is generally agreed that his subject matter seldom strays from its gangstafied, misogynist roots. Of interest is Mr. West’s gross deviation from the consciousness that he has come to embody in the eyes of hip hop purists and black intellectuals the same.

Content and concept driven: Kanye represents what rap should be, right? He’s the man behind “Jesus Walks" and “Heard ‘Em Say." Rap music with a message, just like back in the day. Plus, when black leaders held their tongues and tucked their tails in the immediate aftermath of Katrina, Kanye boldly told the world what nearly every person of color felt: “George Bush does not care about black people."

The hip hop elite place MCs above rappers. Jay-Z is a rapper, they will argue; Kanye West is an MC. But purists often suffer amnesia when it comes to holding these so-called saviors of the genre accountable for their lack of consciousness and, at times, downright ignorance. The question begs: how conscious is conscious rap really?

It is deplorable that Kanye West’s heroics overshadow his misogyny and casual use of the word bitch. See “Gone," “Wouldn’t Get Far," “Call Some Hoes," “Roses," and “Brand New." Other conscious artists are granted similar leeway by male and female consumers. Common recalled a time “when bitches had Gucci tags" and “hoes wore clothes that exposed their figures" on his celebrated opus, Resurrection. Still, who remembers?

On the other hand, rappers (not MCs) are assigned blame for the deteriorating mores of today’s youth and the denigration of black women. It is well known that Lil’ Wayne will “make it rain on them hoes," but outside of his fan base, when is he credited for penning “Georgia... Bush," one of 2006’s more poignant rap songs, or “This Is What I Call Her," in which he begs his woman to call him a slut for a change? Take it back even farther: who remembers 2 Pac, the quintessential thug rapper, for “Keep Ya Head Up" and not “I Get Around?"

If conscious is to be a label worn by MCs such as Kanye and Common—and make no mistake: they do wear it—it should be earned through a demonstrated abstention from the misogyny that characterizes much of hip hop music today. Unless, of course, one makes the argument that consciousness is independent of the struggle for gender equality, which, unfortunately, appears to be the prevailing consensus.

What else can a career move (for either Game or Kanye) that profits chiefly from shitting on women of color be called but an act of tapdancing coonery?

01/11/07 Coon Alert: Clarence Page an Example to Follow

Clarence Page, columnist for the Chicago Tribune, is a stand-up guy. In June 2006, he appeared on The O’Reilly Factor to defend an op-ed piece published by the paper which criticized “cheerleaders" of the Iraq war, among whom Bill O’Reilly was included. Page’s stoic mastery over the subject matter (along with his derisive candor and smirk) was enough to send O’Reilly, arguably television’s fiercest conservative political commentator, into a stammering rage. Page did not simply hold his ground; he outdebated his white counterpart on a show that seldom takes its black guests seriously.

Award-winning columnist, Clarence Page.

There is something to be said of black docility in a predominantly white discussion forum. The constant need to exert double the energy and effort of whites in order for one’s input to be valued lends appeal to silence and submission. But silence and submission are both forms of soft coonery. Clarence Page’s performance contrasts sharply with the often seen phobia black politicians, authors, and intellectuals have of articulating their opinion before white audiences without compromise.

Perhaps out of fear, Damali Ayo, author of How to Rent a Negro, censored her views on race when confronted by O'Reilly. Rev. Al Sharpton kept his silence after O’Reilly facetiously threatened to put him in chains. Keith Boykin, a former White House aide during the Clinton Administration, was shouted over and drowned out by O’Reilly and Fox News analyst, Tammy Bruce.

It beckons to be noted that black docility is not limited to the sphere of political commentary. In white classrooms and professional settings, otherwise extroverted blacks become laryngitic. Additionally, restrictive images of militancy further the belief that one must don a dashiki and ‘fro in order to “talk back." But the example of Clarence Page, soft-spoken in his suit and tie, begs to differ.

Speak up!