02/01/07 Coon Alert: Condi Not Coonin'

Condoleeza Rice ain't no coon. Bill O'Reilly was interviewing her and asked how she felt when people accused her of being a sellout. She said: "The fact of the matter… is that I've been black all my life. Nobody needs to tell me how to be black." Brushin' off her shoulders and shit. Because she figured, 'Fuck y'all! I'm the first woman and first African American Provost at Stanford; first African American female National Security Advisor and Secretary of State; Forbes' 2004 and 2005 most powerful woman in the world—I'm good!' She broke barriers, opened doors. She a lotta things, but she ain’t no coon.

She hit up Ferragamo while poor folks (white and black) in New Orleans went for a swim—or at least that’s what she musta thought they was doin’. That wasn’t a good look. But that don’t make her a coon; that just make her materialistic than a muthafucka and inconsiderate of anybody who ain’t somebody.

She tried to compare the struggle for freedom in Birmingham in 1963 to the gunclappin’ in Baghdad 40 years later. Yeah, she shitted on the Civil Rights Movement and, yeah, she put a bullshit ass war over black people’s struggle for equality. But that don’t mean she coonin’. She might be a connivin’ ass politician, maybe; but she not a coon.

She was on O’Reilly talkin’ ‘bout, “I know how much [President Bush] cares about equality in America. I know how much he cares that minority kids get a fair shake in the educational system… [President Bush] has not only cared about minority empowerment, not only cared about equal opportunity for minorities, but he’s done more than any other person I can think of in recent memory.” Being Republican don’t make her a coon.

But if party affiliation alone don’t make a person a coon, what is Condoleeza Rice if you go just offa what she’s done for black people? What are the black Republicans who support and push for policies that hurt poor and middle-class blacks? Ward Connerly was born in Leesville, Louisiana in 1939 and experienced racism firsthand; but, at the same time, he’s single-handedly credited as the man behind ending affirmative action in California, Michigan, and Washington. And this is a black dude. No bullshit!

And it’s not just black Republicans, neither. One of America’s most talented lawyers, ironically, is Theodore V. Wells, Jr., who’s made a career outta defending white collar criminals. He has his NAACP and United Negro College Fund stripes, though, and he’s a Democrat. (Big ups on that!) Wells is currently serving on Scooter Libby’s defense team.

So Ms. Rice ain’t no coon or Uncle Tom or sellout or traitor. At the end of the day, she still got black skin and can’t nobody take that from her. Nah, she justa colorblind, naïve, vain Republican who hasn’t done much of anything to help average, everyday black folks.

Props on the accomplishments, though. That's wassup!